How many times have you asked that question? Why me? I grew up asking that almost every day. Growing up I felt that the world was always out to get me, everyone I knew had a hidden agenda, everything was my fault, and the grass was always greener. I was the king of the pity-party. Looking for others to pick me up when I was down. Not allowing God to take control. Stuck in my own pride and addiction of feeling down and depressed. I allowed my self to be a victim so people could take pity. I allowed myself to be a victim in my own life!
I was a victim in my own life! My conscious was bleeding continually, and I couldn't stop it.
I was trapped in my own shame and guilt that was taught to me at a young age from many of my life sources. It was a part of our family lifeblood and curse that ran deep on both sides. No one was ever quite good enough, talented enough, loved enough or cherished enough to know who they were and to stand firm in that identity. Instead in the curse of family shame and guilt, everyone turned to their pride to get through the good and bad. If things didn't go well we'd use deflection and blame others, cut ourselves emotionally and spiritually or just blame ourselves. If something actually went right it was because they picked themselves up by the bootstraps and worked hard at it, or occasionally genie god would grant a wish that came true. However, the guilt and shame would soon set in and the foreboding feeling of when will the other shoe drop would set in, afterall the good times and joy really couldn't last. God really wasn't that good, was he?
Or is he?
Eventually the trials and storms of life would set in, and confirm the inkling suspicions that were hidden deep inside. God failed us again, and now we need to muster up all the strength deep inside to find those bootstraps and do it on our own. If we succeed that will be awesome, but we'll probably fail since we're losers anyway. We were trapped in poverty and desolation, not really knowing Jesus died for a much better life.
Life to the fullest! Jesus has "come so that they may have life, AND HAVE IT TO THE FULL!" (John 10:10)
Jesus died so we could have a better life. So we wouldn't have to get trapped in our day to day circumstances that we have no control over. Our world is broken, people are broken, situations are broken, Jesus is the healer! Jesus is the life! He is the one who can set you free!
I didn't understand this, but now I live it. I still get my doubts and struggles, still reach for my own bootstrap from time to time, but the weight of the bootstrap is too much and I let it go. I let it go because the yoke of Jesus is so much lighter and easier to handle. I can handle that because He has already paid the ultimate price by taking my sins and the worlds' sins upon the cross with Him. He is our mediator, He is the great physician.
Jesus Christ died to set YOU free, so YOU can life YOUR life to the fullest.
Why wouldn't you want that lifeforce living in you? Accept it today! Trust me, it's worth it. It reminds me of what Chuck Swindoll said in one of his messages, and I paraphrase:
Without Christ, whatever your current circumstance, this is the best your life will ever be. With
Christ, no matter the circumstance, this will be the worst your life will ever be.
Think about it, life can only get better with Christ in your life, guiding and directing your every footstep, so whether you are at the peak of awesomeness or the pit of despair, life can only get better; whereas, if you don't accept Christ, your life is as good as it's ever going to get, EVER.
Do you want more and better life to the fullest? Or are you good with your life now?
Getting back to the point of "Why Me", I came to realize one thing. God created me to persevere, through good and bad, regardless of the origin (my own doings or just random sensless acts due to a broken world). I am supposed to be a man who stands up when things are going tough, rally troops, encourage others to keep moving and find strength from God to be His warrior, no matter the cost. I am human, I fail at this miserably, but now I know when I'm reaching for my bootstrap or reaching for God's power. I know that the family curse has ended with me, and from that the generational sin will end. I had the choice, and I choose Christ!
Why me? Why not! Christ loves me and wants His best for me. He will strengthen me.
In closing God left me with this little bit of wisdom that I want to share with all of you. It means so much to me I have wrote it on a post-it note and stuck it in my wallet right in front of my debit card.
The truth is we can have good and bad days, good and negative feelings. Issues arise when
days and feelings are good and bad. That is life and the broken nature of sin. The problems
come about when we start letting the feelings and circumstances define who we are. We
feel like we fall out of grace with God or we turn our back on God's grace in our pride and
arrogance. We lose our eternal joy because of our fleeting emotions, as we turn to ourselves
in our pride.
Christ died so we can feel joy in all circumstances, knowing that He is our rock and salvation. Not our circumstances and feelings.
Let this truth soak in to your hearts and minds. Quit letting circumstances define who you are and your feelings drag you down. Your God is much bigger than circumstances and feelings of this world. God didn't die on a cross to let you suffer with brokenness, wounds and sin. Jesus died on a cross to set you free.
Be free today!
I love you,
Ken
